I’ve never been particularly good at crafting a cohesive self-image. That’s what I tell myself at least. Behind the social media posts, there’s a lot of doubt that I have had to face. I can spend a lot of mental energy worrying about the precision, correction, and authenticity of my messages. Is this what people want to hear? Is this the right thing to share? What can I do to get people to like me? To see me?
Like many people, I find myself searching for mirrors, someone to tell me “Hey, I see you! I know your value!” To hear it from someone else is to make it true. But to consistently embody those thoughts myself? That’s something different. Arrogance is a quality I have loathed since I was young. The nerve it takes to loudly proclaim who you are has always been deeply suspicious to me while simultaneously something I have desperately wanted to be able to perform myself. See, I know the shadows well. I know the tactics to keep myself just barely visible. I disappear into my thoughts and feelings as I walk down the street, hoping not to be noticed. I hide in my home, laying down in the darkness so that I am not seen. What gives me the right to take up space? Who the fuck am I? To share my thoughts, and stand by them? I am always afraid of seeming like “too much”, too loud, too opinionated, too sensitive.
But guess what? I am all of those things. Loud, opinionated, sensitive, and thankfully, deeply rooted in my trust in the power of Spirit.
Who the fuck am I?
I am a soul that chose to be born into this world. I am darkness transmuted into light. I speak and magic happens. I create and abundance follows. I am supported by angels and ascended masters alike. I am powerful, I am worthy, I am valuable, I am love.
The only thing standing in the way of my greatness is me.
What keeps me going even through my challenges? My unwavering belief in Oneness, Spirit, and the power of love. My faith in my ability to transform and my worthiness of divine support. I have been shown over and over and over again how much is possible when I let go of my fears. The greatest gifts and changes in my life have come from not asking for permission first but from being what it is I want to see in the world. Anyone can tell me they find me interesting or worthy; good for them for recognizing it - it is my job to believe it and act on it. No one else can do that for me.
This is why I am here, on Earth, on this journey, in this form. To take up space. To show that risks are worth taking and that challenges are worth facing. It’s why I chose to go this route, to create my own membership portal. I am not here to blend in, or be one of many. I am here to disrupt systems, to create my own way of being, and to invite others to do the same.
I can tell you this because I have lived it: Your darkness does not define you. It is just one way that you have chosen to learn in this life. You are immensely capable, profoundly loved, and deeply needed. Learn to be your own champion. To listen to your power, not to fear it. To trust in your knowledge. To free yourself from self-judgement. If you’re here, you’re curious. All it takes to begin is the willingness to transform.
I will be right here, sharing my journeys, both internal and external. Sharing the connections that can be made from our beliefs and our collective evolution.
And I want to hear your journeys. How do you connect to your value? What have you learned through your challenges? What are difficulties are you still facing? What are you celebrating? Feel free to add comments to the discussion below, or email me.
I’m so glad you’re here.
Alia Walston is a traveling writer and intuitive making connections between the challenges and ecstasies of our evolution